Fourth Day of Christmas - Couple's Resolution
It’s that time of year again when we start to think about our goals for the future and which commitments will help us meet these goals…the time when we start thinking about New Year’s resolutions. Usually, I think about all the ways I need to improve myself but this year I am taking a different approach and making a different kind of commitment. This year, my partner and I are making a couple’s resolution.
We have been together for nearly twelve years and have been married for two and half years. Although we are currently going strong, we know that many marriages don’t remain happy forever and often, people grow apart. As we change as individuals, we develop and pursue interests that are not necessarily shared with one another and, I fear, that eventually, we could wake up one day and feel like we don’t know each other at all. We need to participate in each other’s lives and continuously get to know one another... in other words, we need to share our interests and hobbies and commit to creating new learning and new experiences for us as a couple.
|I said "yes" and we got engaged.|
This is not to say that we shouldn’t all have our own individual hobbies (not everything needs to be shared), but rather, that the marriage needs to have hobbies as well. I like to view the marriage as its own entity and aim to treat it as if it’s its own person…with its own goals, needs, and life stages. Just like the people in it, marriages need to grow and evolve as they age, and thus, my partner and I believe it is sensible to take proactive steps that will not only help us grow as individuals but that will help us grow together as well. With this in mind, my partner and I decided to implement an annual couple’s resolution. Making this resolution involves one partner choosing an activity to which the other has to wholeheartedly commit and that would provide new learning and/or experiences for both partners. The couple’s resolution is a great and exciting opportunity to take on a new hobby, learn something new, and share in each other’s lives.
|Then, we got married.|
The guidelines for making a couple’s resolution are below:
1) One partner chooses an activity for the year (next year, the other partner chooses and so on)
2) The activity should be something in which neither partner is an expert
3) The activity should be something feasible (i.e. Can we afford it? Do we have the time to pursue it?)
4) The person who chooses the activity is responsible for finding the information and planning when and
where the activity will take place (this can be done together if you prefer or if planning is an integral part of
the learning experience)
5) Examples of activities include: taking a dance class together, having a couple’s bookclub, learning a new
sport, joining a team, purchasing a subscription for the performing arts etc.
This year is our first year and we decided that I would choose this year’s activity and Bren would choose next year. For this year’s resolution, I wanted to try something that would get us outside and in the water, something that would be active but relaxing at the same time, and something that we would both enjoy. I chose canoeing. Brendan proposed on a canoe and I remember thinking how fun it was to paddle together. We are lucky enough to have a canoe club just around the corner that is run by our local parks and recreation department. We have planned to canoe at least every third weekend beginning in April through to October and hope to take a canoe trip to Algonquin Park sometime in August to get away for awhile. Who knows?...maybe we will love canoeing so much that we will start all of our mornings on the water…coffee in hand, of course.